Verse 1 (soap-opera setup):
She’s crying in the kitchen, he’s storming out the door,
But wait — cut to the jingle that we’ve all heard before!
(Beanz meanz Heinz!) — horns give a pop,
Buy one tin today and let the tears all stop.
Chorus (big band bounce):
Ooooh, we’re swingin’ through the ages,
From telly screen to neon stages.
Cheeky lines, they still impress —
Selling dreams with jazzy finesse!
Verse 2 (lager & lifestyle):
Aussies wouldn’t give a Castlemaine Four X,
Shout it with a trumpet and a cheeky hip flex.
Guinness is good for you — or so they used to say,
Tip your hat, take a swig, let the brass band play!
Bridge (snappy, half-spoken like a bandleader):
Go to work on an egg,
Nice one Cyril,
For mash get Smash,
It’s all so serial!
Chorus (bigger, cheekier):
Ooooh, we’re swingin’ through the ages,
From telly screen to neon stages.
Cheeky lines, they still impress —
Selling dreams with jazzy finesse!
Outro (scat-style ad slogans over horn stabs):
“Oooh, the Milky Bars are on me!” (ba-da-ba-da-bah)
“Everyone’s a Fruit and Nut Case!” (doo-bee-doo-wop, ah!)
“Have a break, have a Kit-Kat!” (clap, clap, clap)
“Hello Tosh, got a Toshiba?” — and that’s a wrap!
